How fufilling can living like this be?
Uncertain of a billion things, feeling as though my confidence took a few large blows. Yet all I want to do is to give myself a good sadistical laugh, feeling the full-on blast of pain from smiling at my own misery.

The Spill Canvas - All Over You.

Yeah he's a looker,
but I really think it's guts that matter most
I displayed them for you,
strewn out about from coast to coast

I am easily make believe,
just dress me up in what you want me to be
I'll take back what I've been saying for quite some time now

I gotta feel you in my bones again-
I'm all over you,
I'm not over you
I wanna taste you one more time again,
I'm all over you,
I'm not over you

In my daydreams, in my sleep,
infatuation turning into disease
You could cure me, see all you have to do now
is please try
Give it your best shot and try
All I'm asking for is love,
but you never seem to have enough

I gotta feel you in my bones again-
I'm all over you,
I'm not over you.
I wanna taste you one more time again,
I'm all over you,
I'm not over you.
This life is way too short to get caught up and all mixed up
when I just want you to love me back,
why can't you just love me back?

Met Bev's two guy breaker friends while walking home today. It's a small, small world.

What's with the sudden guy craze?
Sickening. And I shall refrain and spare my readers from more... rants. Well, I moved out of my semi-bi state a while ago, and suddenly, Whoooosh comes a mountain of guy problems.
Well, there are only so few good girls around anyway.
And well, all the good guys go for the not-so-good girls. Aren't you sick of that?

Mdm G seems to have made many new friends.
Her best friend of late: Mrs T. And well, she picked up a really random conversation with me today.
I will make the effort to be even nicer to my teachers for they all have a say in my dear, dear testimonial. Bother, bother.
But seriously, how would you tell the teacher if he/ she forget the zipper, or stained her pants, or dirtied the back of his sihirt, etc?
The social skill I have yet to work on. The art of unembarrassment.

Don't you find it annoying how all new Ljs have ads?
It freaking can't be removed! D:
Just when I thought of permanently switching over to Lj. So anyway, the skin change as promised. I realise that I go for certain colour schemes all the time. D:
That's bad.

Went mini-shopping with Ab, Am and Dk after Math IR, since Dionne conveniently pangsehed us. Well, I bought a really cute kimono top (Dionne should totally have came. Idiot girl.) and Dk bought some semi-sheer tunic. Amanda was on the verge of buying a satin kimono but looked a wee bit fat in it and somehow, she ended up empty-handed.
Needless to say for Abigail. I must persuade her to buy something and wear it out(:

The simple pleasures in life:
Imagination, and friends.
Oh and a good sense of humour too. (:

Have promise myself and Am not to buy anymore clothes for two weeks. In fact, I plan to include all other material goods in the deal too. But who knows, I might do it still, just not with my own money(:

Busy obsessing.
My eyes are on one person only, and that one person's killing me.

Bahasa Indonesian for You're Confusing.

Alisha babe went to cut hair without me, and now it's ended up okay but seriously, I don't know and can't tell so i'll have to see it for myself. D:
You are so fickle-minded, dear girl. No hitting on K!

So ended up at R's place, gobbled down half a tub of B&Js Choc Fudge Brownie in a few minutes. Good stuff. The most confusing person i've ever known.
Okay that was random. Mr Jahat (new name!) looks so funny in long green pants(: And he sucks really, cause he can't carry my radio, like a man. He's totally, un-manly. Hahaha.

Had a little long chat with Mr Jahat, and i've finally found the answer. While talking it out, I convinced myself that it takes a lot for me to start liking someone.
You know, Ab and Am, I think I do.
And as Am put it, I must wait. The most annoying thing to do. Wait till after Os, wait till we both dare to say something, wait.
D:

Sorry R, I confused you. And i've unconfused myself at the same time. And sorry once again for.. yeah.

Brainache.
Really.
I hate guys. I love girls.

I better add this. Before I get slandered again.
(girls like, Am, Ab, Al, Ai, Da, Sa, Na, Di, etc.) (:

I wish whatever Amanda said during chinese happens. I'll be the happiest girl ever.
For a few long months, at least(:
Played badminton for a while before IR, emerged from the hall as though it was a shower. Amanda especially ah(: Hahaha it was crazily HOT today. Sweltering):
Oven, oven.

Abigail's hidden sense of humour came out of hiding, and in full force today.
(:
I sorta sensed it after El, and guess I was right after I read her blog. I think she's got so many sides to her(: And it's so interesting.

Ever since her Doraemon joke- which I still cannot get over, omgggg- she said some things today at the most apt times. It wasn't particularly funny actually, just... really good timing(: Hahaha.
Some idiot Ali Royo just emailed us. Scammer alert! Please stay far away from this sort of people. So annoying, gosh.

Baby says I must sleep early, so for today, "sleep early" has been reinserted into my dictionary(: Hope you slept enough yeah. Go to school and rock it with your short, short hair man.
Haha. It's Alisha la!
Oh yes to other Tk girls: if you think we're together, we're together la horh. (:
(So AhL, I know.) (But what to do, talking to AhLs what.)
We should actually add like zxzzzzx behind every word.
Like:
Wahla0zzzxzzx datzxxzxz b1tchzxzzxzxx w0rhzzxxzxzx.
Sorry, overkill. (:

Everyone:
What colour is Doraemon?

For your own good, don't read this.

Why, why the f*ck, is it you?
I never wanted to hurt you. You know, I hate you for spoiling the moment. I wish we could go back. Why did you have to come back in now? I really, honestly, do not know what to do with you.
Or with me, for that matter.

Felt so tormented today, mind all over place. Lessons didn't make any sense.
Hairsnip date with Alisha failed.
Tuition was fcking dry, and guess what.
On the day that I need it the most, sunshine wasn't there.


Of all days, why. I lie when I yell out loud that there's nothing. I lie, really badly because I know, not sure if you do, that my brain and heart work in different directions.
I'd leave your blog loaded on my desktop, the music on repeat throughout the night just to hopefully, feel better. Some sort of warm, twisted feeling might actually reach me through the computer screen, you know.

I was rather happy today, ignoring the fact that my insides were really unstable- no doubt due to mental state. But happiness only stays so long. And for every second I didn't say a word, many new words formed in my brains.
My dear, half-horrendous, roasted brains.
Got selected to be an El oral coach, and I was the only one assigned to another class- how scary. Turns out I found my coachee: Syaf. Hallelujah. Every cloud should have a silver lining. Like this one, I hope?

National/Carnival Day dance is really fun, but really hard and I think i'll fall flat on my face and embarrass myself really badly. In front of the whole school, no less.
Speaking of which: Abigail if you see this, i'll have to start going to the void deck every morn at 7 to practise.

I find the nice-smile person really annoying now. It's just the presence perhaps. But anyway, I can't help but lose a little bit of cool.
Not that I originally possess any.

I want to end this. With a gun in my mouth and a bullet through the back of my head. A nice, hollow hole in between. Or maybe, a bullet through everyone else's head so that i'll be alone and drive myself nuts. Whenever the rare emo side kicked on, I've no whooping idea.

Stop thinking, stop thinking. Think of: Rum and Raisin! Starbucks!
Oh shit. Stop thinking of Starbucks. And of icecream. And of Subway. And of donuts.
I have nothing left to think about, by the way.

We take turns to appear offline and hide from the world.

I'm sorry. The first sorry I owe you, out of a million and one more to come.
I think you deserve better, better than me.
A girl like me struggles through each day, barely making it- and i'm confused a hundred minus one percent of the time.
How am I worthy?
I find no answer. And if you look deeper, you'll run out of words too. I wish it wasn't this way either. But something small, mean, devillish and ugly tells me:
No. No, Noelle, you can't. You can't afford it, you can't upkeep it.

Don't lie. I can tell- I can see right through you.
Every direction I turn, my vision is blurred by a flurry of images, creating enough guilt to flood a street.
But I must stay quiet: for it is my retribution.

My blog gets an average of 245 views per day.
How scary is that?!? 13,239 views since June the 4th when I started this so do the math.

Haha yes, because Ryan says I will blog about this, I will.
Because I want to prove myself wrong. Okay doesn't make sense, nvm!

†Ryan† Please, never let go. Dear god.. says:
and i don't bear a grudge against you and i never will. cause you're the best thing that has happened to me so far k =)
†Ryan† Please, never let go. Dear god.. says:
you can go blog about that now
†Ryan† Please, never let go. Dear god.. says:
hahaha
†Ryan† Please, never let go. Dear god.. says:
it's not just what we did that makes me think that way. it's really who you are. and the person inside =)

He's becoming my best friend. Best girlfriend, maybe? Hahahahahaha oops.
Now that he has began reading my blog, I must be careful.
O:
And run a little experiment on him, by blogging about more guys and girls. But I somehow sense his reaction won't be that big. (He's gonna hide it.)
Yeh, not fun.

Baddie baddie badminton tomorrow, can't wait.
Hopefully it doesn't rain?
Yahoo says 60% chance that it'll rain. Aww man. I don't feel like lugging a badminton racket to school though.

Anyway I realised that I left Aisy's half eaten roti-john in my bag since friday, and sadly it began to rot and stank my bag really badly. Gosh. So absentminded.

And I think it's really a waste that Shaun's changing his vocalist.
Then again, I thought higher of the vocalist. He seemed such a nice guy. Shaun can't come to terms with his dragonboating/meeting friends and stuff, damn.
Well, hopefully he finds a better one:D

Aisy's house downstais sells super cheap shutter shades and semi shutter shades! DAMN. I am going to get a pair, final(:
Hahaha spendthrift.

With love,
Noelle.

I did the most unthinkable thing ever:
I got Shaun to blogshop(: I just foudn this really nice Tee site, and knowing his addiction with Graniph, I intro-ed him and wala!
Well, obviously not buying from me, but still, isn't it cool that yes, guys can blogshop too?
:D

And he, like Daphne a few days ago, bombarded me with questions as to how to pay, get, etcetc.
Haha any guys who feel like shopping NOW, let me know okay(: I shall help that shop gain a few more customers, just because they have nice stuff.
I swear it's really nice and Graniph-like (okay obsession with Graniph!) and zomg, it's about half of the price.

Today, July 27th.
1. Happy Birthday Heng-yi. (:
2. Good luck to all Ms Lee girls (esp Alisha!) for the competition!
Tomorrow is our snip-hair date(: Not that I plan to snip any of mine off; it's so short still.

I tried doing the Econs worksheet, but apparently Mdm G named the Y axis for both graphs "Price of pounds in US Dollars", and one graph shows that the pound appreciates while the other, depreciates.
Wth? I think she labelled the Y axis wrongly, cause the rest of the questions can't be answered):
Damn, just when I feel like doing homework.

I WILL drop any plans to get myself a new hoody since it's impractical;
I have one already, and I don't need another.
And cause i'm getting myself a new haversack! Abandoned all hope for a Dickies one- too expensive.
Will stop spending money since i've spent about $484 and only earned $94 back. Considering that that's revenue, I have seriously got to buck up. D:

It's time I emptied my drawer of all the MAC, YSL and Elizabeth Arden makeup and sell it off. I'll make probably a few hundred, if I actually bear to.
See, all the leftovers/ presents actually add up to quite a bit!
When I move house in a few years (if I ever do), i'll have a huge garage sale and invite everyone down(: It'll be super worth it, cause I think I have an embarrassing surplus of material goods; mainly clothing and of course makeup!

I think i'll change my blogskin later- sick of this one.

Aunty Susan's having a huge, HUGE birthday party at the end of next month, and I think Hossan Leong's gonna be emceeing. Plus, I think that's the event where Ryan has to sing Your Guardian Angel! He asked me to take over but I declined(; Ah, what a joyous occasion!
Tables of tables full of people, and he really can't sing.
I'm so mean.

And I've decided to get off my butt and give everyone a surprise;
head on down to the store tonight(:

To Abigail: I'm aching all over too. They say when you ache, you'll build up muscle! But sadly my upper thigh's aching too. ):

Anyway, a cause for celebration! (:
First postage. Hahaha was too excited last night.
Good job Ab and Am! (sounds like M&M when you pronounce it)

And I think after the Os, i'll start watching NRWZD because it's super hilarious + useful. Haha those who want nice eyelashes/ shiny hair/ bigger boobs (lol damn funny!) go watch. (: But since Napfa is around the corner, don't bother growing bigger boobs cause it'll hinder you. Yeah, you can actually grow them. You are lying, L-Y-I-N-G, when you (assuming you're a girl) say "Eww", because we're all envious of girls with perfect figures right?
Even if you're against anorexia, etcetc. (aren't we all.)
Don't be naive and come anonymously tag, or rather tag with a name that I can't put to your face, just because oh, you don't like me.
Or you think that I want to grow bigger boobs.

Haha sorry couldn't help that, too funny(:

And here's to prove my point that indeed, alot of people read my blog. Scary as it is, I find it quite interesting how people can dig things out of blogs(: It's like an addiction- slightly stalkerish.
Ah, the wonders of the Internet.
I love reading peoples' blogs too(:

People whom I don't know/ don't care about/ never met who read my blog, here's a Heya to you(: Thanks for being supportive and if not, at least giving me the inspiration/ emotion to blog.

Just fyi, I am not Gay. (: Got that off my chest- I thought it was pretty obvious? Since I don't chase girls and I occasionally stare at guys. Yes I admit; I do think some girls are really cute, but that's about it.
My hormones start acting up around guys.

And hormones- well, hormones do not always refer to anything sexual (wonder where your train of thought's heading to, you sick nut) but you know, hormones sort of alert you when you see a nice partner, someone whom you could possibly spend the rest of your life with. And that's when girls sit up straighter, tuck their hair behind their ears and open their eyes wider.
(watched too many dramas.)

Ultimately, i'm waiting for my Mr Right.
Someone who isn't childish enough to stay stubborn and to slander, someone who's happy(est) with me and waits for me. (:
Aren't we all?
Esp certain readers at the age of 26- go find your soulmate already and marry her lah! Haha:D
Sorry to that certain reader for being busy and not hanging out with you, even though it's your holidays. (I think?)

And I do not have big boobs. ):

When would we look deeper, much deeper, than face value?
It takes only a few seconds to know someone, and then you realise; Shucks, he/ she's not so bad after all.
And you feel like a dickhead. Or you should, since we all have consciences.
I'm tired of society, of our society, of how we're judged, and of how equal chances aren't given to everyone, because of prejudice. Are we really that shallow, that all we can say is: That's reality?
Since that really is reality (haha), I, to the best of my ability, will not judge people unless I do know them, and I'll just give them the benefit of the doubt when it comes to rumours.
I'll live by my morals. Not by what society declares me to.

Sooooo, back to today:
I think G2000 has an awesome 50% off sale going on now, and the guy pants are really sleek. If I were a guy, I'd rather straight cut lined pants with a fitting white shirt. (:
And I can't help but stare at the G200 poster everytime i'm at the shop because I think the model is really classy. Not particularly handsome, but all the clothes fit him perfectly. Go and see, and gawk. (:

The Dark Knight was good, although Mum claimed it too... heavy. Cause you have to think and stuff. But still! (: I think they should've gotten a hotter Batman, and definitely a stunning Rachel.
Like how Nicole Kidman acted in one of the other Batman movies.
Fwoah. Hahaha yes I realised Christian Bale has a short tongue after all.

Got a nice pair of fitted linen, knee-length pants from Fox. :D
Mum kinda spoiled my mood by asking: What did you do to deserve new pants?
I think that she shouldn't have asked since we've gone out shopping less than 10 times this year, and it was only like, $20. (50% off)

You know, i've always envied girls who shop with their mums nearly weekly. And actually buy stuff. Not only at sales too.
Family time is greatly undermined here. And I abhor it. (feel the word)
Don't take it for granted.

And again my mood was spoilt by her reminder:
'Don't think of guys this year ah.' (nearly 20 times already)
That sentence ALWAYS, ALWAYS ALWAYS I PROMISE AND SWEAR ON MY PRIDE, comes when I mention one, little freakin four-lettered word:
Ryan.

Annoys me to the max. MAXIMUM. She's way too oversensitive of that word and way too insensitive of her daughter's feelings. Summarised.

My current cheer-up song:
Hanson - Penny And Me.

May not sound like it, but on the verge of a mental breakdown.
F*ck,

Really hyperactive and restless today, but happy(:
PE was really fun, and I think Ms T does have a cute side to her. A very small, unnoticable side despite her usual *(&$@)*(&! attitude! Did shuttle run and most of the 5 items, and she was like yelling at me not to slow down and stuff.
But did I tell you Ms T whacked my head with a thick stack of paper?
D:
B lah!

Hahaha but how she calls Aisy is still the best:
"Yoohoo!"

And during recess, we played rugby.
Not very happy about it; it was really fun, but we got a ltitle too rough and poor Ellaisha got injured! Hope your ankle's okay):
She and Shaf got into a messing snatching of the ball which landed both of them on the ground, and Ellai on her own leg.
I felt bad (cause I was on the opposing team) so I helped her back to class and got her an icepack.
Scary. Now I feel guilty whenever I see softballers and 4/2 girls, not that i'm really guilty though!

Stank like durians after the whole PE/ recess thing. Felt gross/ grassy too. But still, good experience(: Let's play again!
With the rules and just TOUCH Rugby. (:
But it'll be badminton from next week. Ah, our group's the most active yeah? Haha yeah, rock on:D

We had this queer little talk on homosexuality later, which was rather interesting but still, "duh". I suspect the lady talking was previously lesb or something cause she came down too harsh on certain matters? And she emphasized that she was from a girls school for 10 years, and all the pain, pain of lesb love, etcetcetc.
I don't think any lesbs were really affected by the talk anyway, cause most of them know that it's just a phase and they'll eventually marry a guy and have kids and such?

Well, the school has finally accepted the homo scene, and actually did something about it. Good for, you? I always thought the school was either completely oblivious, or unwilling to face up to reality. Give them the credit for trying(:

Let the young live wild and free, and then regret and learn.

Anyway, I was randomly searching for haversacks from Dickies, and lo and behold!
I found a Dickies spree! (; Ah, the wonders of blogshopping. Just that it just ended and costs $55 a bag. Well, another one'll probably be opened soon and maybe, they'll have more designs?
But i'm shit-ass broke): Maybe Sarah's interested?
Argh!

Many of our juniors are catching onto the hoodies thing.
Luckily Sarah / me didn't buy(: Still, no one was been seen wearing the hoodie i've been eyeing for a few weeks now! And it's going out of stock so probably not many people can actually get it:D
But, I have my resources. (:

I was stumped by a question today.
"Do you like him?"
I hope not.

Gossip sessions = fun(:
It's the little packets of joy that brighten your day, no matter how bad it's becoming. Even though some gossip topics just don't make sense, it's just amazing how everyone has something to share. (true or false, it may be.) And even about people you don't know/ won't ever meet. Like Nasha/ Michelle/ CM. (: Oh Nadiah. And boyfs.

Speaking of joy, i'm really grateful to have Mr Peh as my bio teacher. Somehow I feel that i'll never forget him, after everything he's done/ going to do for us. And I think he's the best bio teacher ever(:
So, to my bio classmates, for prelims, let's get 63 and above alright? I'll be sad to let him down, and besides, I think all of us can do it. (:
You the man! Okay that seems wrong.

I've decided to stick with the family tomorrow for lunch + Batman, so my apologies to Ryan cause I can't make it for cooking session tomorrow): Another time yeah?

It's definitely not me.
False hope is lethal; don't be nice when you can't afford that smile.

Everyone looked so tired today; I bet everyone's gonna sleep early tonight. I think it was a really bad idea to have cross country on a monday. For once, I shall try to somehow work around my insomnia and get myself in bed by ten.
I've not been able to sleep before 12 since... this year?
Bleaugh):

Yesterday was really fun though!
We love Busted! :D

Don't think I can get any pictures (all with Aisy and she's too lazy to upload!) for cross country, and our outing after that.
Anyway to my amazement, plus everyone else's, we won the third place for the inter-class competition:D Like the top six runners of our class! Good job y'all.

I was busy being lazy;
Ran with Aisy until the halfway mark or so, then walked half of the remainder with dear old pal: Cai Miao! So random, I know. Hahaha yeah, ran, like Ran, the rest. Cause Cm was asking me to let her go first and I said no(:
Hahaha I think it was pretty cool that we sprinted and everyone else was half dead, jogging.

The outing was cool, hit town with the group and had Seoul Garden which costs $15.30
):
I'm really broke now.
But I think I ate $100 worth of food (plus everyone's remainders) so it's rather worth it. Bought NOTHING except my headband(: Proud of myself.
But I somehow ended up spending alot yesterday, cause I paid for my fbts and the radio's batteries and macs breakfast too):
Wlau.
No choice but to diet for the rest of the week. ):

Walked around the whole of town, F.E Plaza and Cineleisure too.
Legs ached, still aching. Wanted to buy the $5 slippers from Cotton On cause my feet were dying in shoes, but they didn't have my size in the awesome RED):
Aisyah's got me hooked onto all things red/maroon- especially shoes.

Ah, someone just came online.

Anyway, I really hate ------- for carrying such a nice bag!
Sarah was all rearing to buy it, cause it was the nicest design in the shop. And so was I actually.
(another meteor in my wallet)
We should really mug her and grab her bag aye?
Hahahahaha.

And Aisy randomly took another guy's (nice, or so she states) bag while in the shop!
The guy looked so shocked. Hahahah!
After a while, to Aisy's horror, we all thought he was pretty cute, except her of course. (:
He wears gray contacts though. And he's shorter than Nadiah. I'm now being superficial.
(most guys are anyway. 176cm!)

I satisfied my curiosity by peeking quite a few times at Alisha's friend today(:
Ahhhhhhhh. But I shan't tease her.
So cute you know! Not individually.
I must admit it was ultra weird for me- I can't picture you with anyone else.
But still, :D Heheheheheheeheh.

Lesson flashed by rather quickly, in my half-zombed state.
I assume it was a productive day cause everything seems to have gone in. And to my joy, we got back our Geog. E paper. Whimsy was the highest with a 19, and when I went to claim marks from Mrs Thong later, I realised that I would've gotten a 19 too(:
Really happy cause I screwed the first question up totally by misinterpreting it as a tropical rainforest.

Anyway, let's just study harder cause even if we don't get it now, we'll get what we've worked for at the Os. (:

It's funny how BLG - Thunder was only released no the radio this week, when it was indeed, the soundtrack of my 'summer' last september to december. Our little theme song.
I'd rather not be reminded anymore actually. Haha but nontheless, great song(:

What's your purpose for going to school everyday?

I'm really unhappy with this post, cause it's so rambly and whiney and all.
You know, I think i'm just in a bad mood. For many reasons, ):
Shall not give details of my pathetic state. Mentally, emotionally, and physically.
Anyway if anyone is rearing for a Trigo question that no one I know has been able to solve yet, please let me know. I'll give it to you. (:

Love found, finding, missing, lost.
So, which category are you in, my dear?

Tomorrow's cross country, and please be grateful fellow classmates because:
I am lugging my super big, obiang and heavy radio to ECP.
And i'm bringing along my ultra weird collection of nerdy glasses! You'll see tomorrow(:

Not quite a fan of the waking up at 430 idea-
but I think Macs breakfast should make it up. How do we run after we eat? Gosh. Anyway, I don't think i'm going to Seoul Garden (so indecisive, I know!) after all- but I am very keen on the bowling idea. Cutting my nails short now just in case:D

Short to me might mean long to you.
Just as I was cutting my nails, I was thinking what I could apply that line to.
Nails, hair, and guys...
Erm, wouldn't want to go there. I'll never find that one out.

Especially since i've turned a teeny bit holier after the excellent read: The Kite Runner.
Sick of mindless romance novels and weepy cliched stories, I decided to find a really good story that would send chills down my spine. And lo, I found (to my extreme shock) an unread book in my house(: Spent four hours reading it.
It did leave a very strong impression on me. I see mental images whenever I close my eyes.
The most grotesque image i'll never forget: A boy getting raped in the alley of Pakistan.
How the author leaves it entirely to imagination is awful, but the most impactful?
And if you think about it further, it's definitely sodomy.
I hear that word and instantly, I link it with our next-door neighbour.

On a lighter note, I remember how eager I was last year.
Waiting for our macs breakfast that never came, but instead was replaced with a hotcakes delivery. Still heartwarming, admittedly. I was fervently wishing for something more back then, but with time, we mature. How we (plus many others, sadly) had waited in the shelter a small bicycle rental store until the rain subsided.
Never actually happened either, since you left in a cab and I in Mr Yong's car.
Still, thank you for making me so happy back then. I was just reminded of it because coincidentally,
Happy birthday! (:

Not that you read, but I believe it's the thought that counts most.
For whatever I left unsaid, everyone else has probably told you and hence I can't and shan't be bothered to. You know already that I would support you in everything you wanna do(:
Old friend.

Moved on and on, further and further away.
Sentimental memories are nothing more than little pockets of comfort, in times of need.
I'm glad i'll be spending my day with the right people tomorrow(: Even though it might result in a bad stomachache. Which i've been having the past two days accompanied with half-hourly lavatory trips.
We girls are physically programmed to love guys, for that is our mission here, the reason for our existence. (:
Alisha, see this and see this again! Hahahaha.
It's a bad thing for me because.. I am very indecisive and there are alot of guys):
In the end: ziltch.
Damn. I envy you now Alisha):


The last line,
and this I want to give to he-who-does-not-see;
'For you, a thousand times over.'

I have been admittedly guy-crazed. For the past two weeks or so.
If only-
never mind. Perhaps i'm feeling the pressure from all the newspaper articles on how many late 2o somethings are still eons from getting married. Some haven't even found a steady partner at 30):
Okay that was bullshit. I'm just a teenager and it's just my teenage raging hormonal change stage.

You know what, it's actually who it is that makes all the difference right.
The someone who makes me hide a smile everytime, who makes me feel like kicking myself for turning quiet at the wrong moments, and who has an awesome smile and nice eyes.
(Abeit small)
We (Ab and I) believe that guys with small eyes generally are cuter anyway(:
To whom you'll never know, thank you for giving me a purpose to be anxious and all jittery; it makes my life a little less dull ya know.

Should I cut my fringe short?
Hmmmmm.

Met Nazurah today(: She's permed her hair and still stands a head taller than me. She sends her love to everyone! Yep. Missed her lots and lots.
Was supposed to go catch Batman with the family, but the seats were horrible and so in the end, I decided against going to PS to find Shaun.
(and watching the music fest!)
):

I'm becoming such a fan of local music! Urgh(:
My taste in music has switched from mainly rock to indie and soft rock.
Still, indie's pretty wide so I have certain preferences. Call me boring but I am not/ have never been/ will ever be a screamo lover.
Needless to say, I am (unfortunately) a chinese music fan. Sorry FIR/ Jay Chou fans(: Esp the ones sitting in front and behind of me.
Heh.

Nontheless, went out for tea with the rest of the family at Ben and Jerry's! Heh, love the waffles man. Ate ice-cream till I got sick of it.
I hate how they don't have rum and raisin though!
Going to town makes me happy- I love watching people, observing their dressing, patronising shops just to get a feel of it; everything. Yes, city girl alert!
(esp so when I can tell that their dress costs only $15 and they sell it at $40.)
Gives me a sense of.. satisfaction. Of fufilling my curiousity.
And of course the God-sent blessing: Shopping! Didn't do any except Carrefour shopping, and met a rather scarylooking but nice angmoh man.

They say. Everyone is separated by 6 degrees. (maximum?)
A person walking down the street could possibly be your mum's old-classmate's daughter's plastic surgeon's brother's friend.
How interesting is that(: Well I think it applies in Singapore. Especially since it's so small and all.
I never fail to be astonished when I find out that i'm related to some person/ some people are related.

Slightly obsessed with the JoBros' Burning Up.
(influence of the crazy JoBros fans Dk and Sa!)
Hahaha. :D
Joe Jonas is hawtttt. (pronounced the way its spelt)
Well, it's a phase that will last for another two days and i'll get sick of the song.

Meanwhile, i'm very hooked onto The Killers! (For weeks and weeks and counting)
Damn, they're the sexiest band to walk the planet. And for once, it's not just me who thinks so!
Although their lyrics are so wonderfully abstract that no one knows what's going on.
Nontheless, I shall strive to know every song of theirs and crash their live concert in Singapore when they come!
:D

You got me on my toes.
(:
Being in love makes you happy if its two-sided. I am certainly not happy then.
Stupid, stupid, clumsy.

It's a wonder how we survived this week, with all the tests, IR and homework. I'm glad it's over.

Econs test today was rather okay, geography was totally off- but can't wait to get all my tests back. Just received my stuff in the mail! Oh yes(:

Anyway, reached home really late last night which resulted in my zombie-like, slightly sick state today. Had tuition till around 10, and oh boy, tuition can be so interesting.
Poor mohd. ): But on the other hand, it's kinda weird but I look forward to tuition all the time. For various reasons, of which none you should know about. (Oh one of them is that I love doing papers!)
I wonder why i'm guilty.
(:
Fetched Dad later at the airport, only reached home at.. 2330.

Then again, there's no use if it's just me right?
Right. Damn.

Yep, woke up with swollen/ sore tonsils (Hahahaha!) and that sucked.

Monday's X-Country is screwed-
our class has absolutely nothing prepared for the Zany Parade, and thank heavens I don't have to disgrace myself cause,
I'm running! :D
And I think i'll be really running, not walking. Ai will be my motivation(:
I'll probably Seoul Garden after that, cause i'm not that great a fan of F.E Plaza and I wouldn't like to blow $11.99+++, ++++++ on a buffet lunch.
Sorry group, but i'm b-r-o-k-e! ):

Got broke-r cause Am and I hit PP after school just now, to get our dosage of ice-cold bubble tea. It resulted in us walking around, me buying a necklace and both of us buying sleeping/ track pants from Ctn On Body! Hahaha yeah rocks la, five bucks only you know!
(The only time Am willingly spends money.)

Whenever I think of jokes, I think of Ab's (super lame) Doraemon joke and burst out laughing.
Whenever I think of smiles, I think of you.
(and the stupid boyish charm.)

Hi y'all.
Was rather angry last night,
(You arsehole. Don't ever take me for granted.)
but satisfied myself by buying more ELF cosmetics this morning, during our Legacy period! Heh, t'was cool. Mindy's going away to the mountains!
D:
If anyone wants the email she's circulating, let me know. Bon voyage girl!
And yeah, we had to do this NIE survey, and I think I got one of the more annoying ones.

Politics?
(Supposedly math and eng, but not for me.)
Asked a gazillion questions on all sorts of rights, gender, sexual orientation, etc. There was this page with questions like:
How likely are you to join the government?
How likely would you join a political party?
Would you want more opposition parties in Singapore?
I swear. Was exasperated, very much so.

But I believe i'm a government-loving citizen, and i'll leave it at there. I would never join a riot (repeating my answer), learn to take photos just to upload them onto STOMP, write into the forum everytime I have the slightest worry about the rate of inflation.
Which hopefully I don't have to do everyday.

Yes, and from now on (for a year or so) (or until I use it all up), I have no more excuses to buy lipglosses and eyeliners.
-I have just completed my lipgloss colelction with every colour I would wear, with a new lip plumping addition and also the gazillion branded ones waiting in my drawer.
-And as for eyeliners, well, I have purple, gold, bronze, brown, black and gray and I think that's all I need. (Bought a liquid one just to satisfy myself today!)

I shall only buy eyeshadows in mineral form, and only when they cost less than 3 bucks a minijar. (: (dirt cheap, yeah.)
No more makeup posts for a long while, I promise.
Oh yes! I will not buy anymore shades, not until a new fad comes along and looks worthy enough to try. Received some really cool white aviators yesterday.
-And thanks Aisyah for helping me buy fbts! (:

For personal reference.
I must not buy anymore:
1. Shades
2. Bikinis
3. Makeup- everything.
4. Deodorants
5. Underwear
6. False eyelashes (wth)

Looking out for awesomely cute bracelets.
Have given up hope waiting for a nice bag, will save secretly.
Still deciding whether to get the hoodie.
Will get the skinnies. Monday outing with the group! (: After X-country and I just can't wait. I can't afford to go eat Seoul Garden, i'm sorry Dk and co.
I'll eat with Amanda at the hawker or something you know. Hahah.

Ab, Am, Ai, Da, Sa, Na, No.
Cool ain't it! (:

Hahaha just hit Cp with Ab, was fun and we will not follow one-time-off fads.
We seriously need to spreaaaaaaaad the word, or i'll die.
Because I was a little desperate, (so impatient, I know) I peeled off my mian zi and randomly msned all of my primary school friends. They should go O_O?!? when they next come online.
Watch and learn, Ab! Hahaha.

T, A, Y, E.
(:

Listening compre's overr!
:D
To my absolute delight, I have found my soulmate- someone who got 100% same answers as mine.
No one but Alisha! Omg we're really fated la girlf(;
In the, straight, girl-friend kinda way. Hahaha.
Thanks for sending me home today- you're the best.
Guys, guys guys and a girl.

L/c was alright, everyone ended up with really different answers but you know, we all have equal chances at scoring! So fret not(:

Been crazed by blogshopping the past few days, and to my delight, Daphne and Sarah have been pulled into the craze too!
Hahaha we're gonna buy hoodies, plus skinnies:D Sounds super AhL, I know, but imagine something less obiang, something like nice printed hoodies. (:
Not long, striped cardigans, eeeeeyeer.
Yep, and please everyone let's have a nice group shopping outing? Stop all the Bridging outings and you know, hit town!
Shit I need money.

In need of de-stress times.

On a random note,
Ryan and I need to go shopping for a nice, vintage leather haversack!
I would like to should must ask him to sponsor my bag:D Hahaha yes rich guy, please and thank you. For all the times I sacrificed, this money is nothing.
Poor you(:

Went to the gym with Ab yesterday, cycled till my legs were jelly and played around with the equipment. It's sick how this uncle cleaned the treadmill handle with his TSHIRT after he used it. Urgh. Too tired to run cause we ran in the morning.
(I walked the last part actually, too lazy.)
Mondays are bad PE days. Fridays are the best:D
We're super motivated on fridays, aren't we!

With my limited funds, I sincerely hope someone would come motivate me to diet and save money/ sponsor something/ pity me,
for here is my current must-get list:
1. Beige skinnies
2. VVV nice haversack (sick of totes, really)
3. My polkadotted hoodie
4. Many many boho headbands
5. Half shutter shades (ones with lenses and w/o most stripes)
6. That vintage tee with the cameras

I'm so happy I finally parted with my money for my MMU (mineral makeup). Ah, the novelty of owning such things(:

As the days pass, I realise that something material will always satisfy, while waiting for love seems to take an eternity.
On the other hand, we live much better without these sort of distractions.
But if not now, then when?

It's definitely correct to say that this neighbour of ours will score all A1s.
Oh sure Mum.
How easy you make it sound, when you don't even get the facts right,
and make me sound like a complete idiot when compared to others.
Oh and how could you even say:
"I think you're oversensitive", "You think too highly of yourself"
Yes, I should be oversensitive; it is my Os, duh.
And no, I don't think too highly of myself.
I thought too highly of you.
Once again, I might add.
If only A1s were so easy to score, by simple opting into the EM1 stream in primary school and being a rich kid.

What nonsense.

So yes, my day is currently spoilt due to a lack of common courtesy and insensitivity from Mum. She told us to all get ready to go out for tea together, and in the end we waited at home for her until around 6. Cause her "client's lunchtime is only at 2 or 3", when she thought it was like, 12.
We understand, you know.
But you couldn't pick up the phone and call us to let us know right.
Yes, I know.

And she HAD to add the neighbour part just as we came home from grandma's place. I wonder how she has such terrific timing.
And how i've managed to withstand her seeming immaturity, with only a few words uttered.

Ice cream at Island Creamery was fab!
Ryan brought friends who suddenly disappeared, and Rachel came along.
I am a diehard Reverso fan, I could buy a whole tub home and finish it within 15 minutes.
(it's chocolate and oreo! :D :D :D)
Anyway, I thought Daniel Ong was pretty funny (wanted a pic with him BUT NO CAMERA), and I couldn't really put some of the Dj's faces to their voices.
Still, (:

And then we went to our old haunt, Adam Food Centre for our old favourite: ice kachang! Haha thanks to Ryan for paying. :D Just like old times- without red beans, and the bloody pig ate half of it before I even started!
Oh, Generous soul. Hahahaha and we koped all of Rachel's longangs- poor girl. And please, stop ranting about guys cause my ears were on the brink of crying.

Finished Math Rev Topic 2 and nearly done with chem WS.
I like organic chem(:

Labels or love.
Shopping, or love.
Money, or passion.
Careers- how practical is it to actually switch to a different one halfway through your life?
So, would you make lots of money, or live your dream job?
I'll make lots of money. Because frankly speaking, that's one of my life goals and I like making money. I actually like business. I love economics.
(;
My dream job on the other hand, is a blur.
My interests lie in fashion, the creative arts, cosmetics (duh!), dance, the internet, so many many things. Something along the lines of a fashion magazine editor would please me(:
To endless ends.

But still, I like making money. (:
(as can be seen from,.. now.)
Whether I actually do make some, um, nvm.

Feel like getting more ice-cream. Super shagged, strangely enough.
Oh yeah, which reminds me of PE- Ms Tan didn't believe I actually had cramps and made me run. Ran 4 rounds (proud of my good timing!) and nearly collapsed so I stopped. Cried quite a bit cause it hurt madly.
She could only say: Oh please don't cry!
I thought girls were more sensitive you know.
Esp. girls like you.

The Best I Never Had.
Refers to one, and only one person. I randomly thought of you today, of you in a long time. On the radio, on the way home, I thought i'll reserve the song for you, for the rest of my life.
To forgive myself for the cynical smile whenever I see you now.
Forgive me, if i'm mean. And if I refuse to meet your eyes. And if I deny you in front of everyone else. I'm glad you're not in my head anymore.
You're impossible. In every, single, sense of the word.

Heyo. (:
Got bad, bad cramps now. Had a really short night since tuition only finished at 2230 and I reach home ay 2315. Wlau.
But anyway! PE's in a few minutes and I'm skipping out on the run, and it's gonna be a real short and happy day since it's just Career Awareness talks after recess.
Business and Hospitality&Tourism!

I admit, I feel a little deprived if I don't blog for a day. Hahaha my readers must be super happy.
Eeeeyer, everyone's going home to mug, no one wants to go out today.
And anyway, meeting Ryan for FREE ICECREAM at Island Creamery at 6pm! Yay can't wait, cause i'm broke.

Later.

Just to prove that i'm alive and kicking now.
I'll edit this later, after all the freaking measurements are done and it's uploaded.
Talk to me if you wanna check it out?
Hahaha yeah i'm getting desperate.

Anyway,
AMANDA SEE THIS. I'M FREAKING HAPPY NOW, PLEASE CALL ASAP WHEN YOU SEE THIS ALRIGHT. HEH(:
Ahahaah and I bet you'll scold me for being dumb and all but hey,
i'm just a girl. I get excited over small things.
And I Have Feelings. (:

Blogger decided to delete the huge chunk of words!
Ah, oh no.
Anyway, main points.
Thanks to Nazurah and Dionne! You all rock balls:D
Sorry to Dk for not buying the shirt with you.
Thanks to the Group for everything, incld today's MOS and Macs quick bite.

And finally,
Thank you for brightening my day up. (:
(haven't stopped smiling since I came on the com and saw it)
To that special stranger.
Although I know it's impossible, I wish we were something more.

There must be an angel-
With a smile on her face
When she thought that I should be with you

And I don't know what to do
Cause i'll never be with you

James Blunt- oxymoron much. Hahaha.
You're Beautiful.

When I miss the life we had too,
I'll let you know.

Every day I learn something new.
Just as my earlier blogpost randomly zoomed in on relationships, I, or rather, we, somehow tied up certain knots today.
After, (today makes it) SIX months and a few days.

Ryan Lim and I were thrashing things out tonight.
The jerk, whom I presumed, ruined my life for a good few months.
Turns out, he wasn't a jerk after all. He actually pined for FIVE months and 2 weeks.
And wow, I thought he picked up a gf like a few days after we broke up.
(Yeah, purposely send the wrong signals la you idiot!)
So I offered my sincere apologies to him tonight. For being "mean".
One of the rare revelations of my life so far, eh. (:

On the other hand, I sorta became the jerk.
(With Sam, no less.)
Well, lesson learnt.
What's the point when we were so close as friends, with all the comforts that a relationship offered, and yet we chose to spoil that? What, there's nothing wrong with friends holding hands and lending shoulders right.
Now, he's migrated to another planet and looks like a martian from that planet.
(Gosh, his nice hair is gone.)

Well, if we were still REAL friends, I would:
1. Prevent the horrible hair cut.
2. Advise on the turning-ah-beng dressing.
3. Provide suitable sun protection for a tan that actually complements his face.
Hahaha yes, I make a picky girlfriend. (: If you've got the looks then don't abuse it. That's all i'm saying.
(Should shout this out on Orchard Road.)
But maybe, maybe that was just a really terrible pic.
(I doubt it since he likes to choose pics that he looks cool in)

Okay, should stop being mean and bitchy about guyssss.
(:
Have confirmed:
Result of high guy tension this 'long' weekend, or so the teachers like to put it.
In a few days, it'll be back to girls. Hahaha what can we expect man, it's girls all around, how not to talk about them? (:
Besides, some are far too interesting.

Moving on, to a topic related to nothing else.
You know, you're welcome.
I enjoyed myself thoroughly. (:
It just occured to me how strange it was to hear a 'Thank you', from you of all people. Haha yes, I don't know what else to say too. Except for See you again, I hope.

I wonder why it's so hard for people to let go,
yet so easy for others to say:
"I think we both know that you're not the right one."
And why some people never seem to fall, and look in my direction, and smile.

The world is a queer place.
We are queer people.

For the first ime in a long while,
I did paper 2(: But nontheless, I still prefer paper 1s cause they make you think more and it's fun and easy and fast to do.
Heh, paper 2 just spam Trigo formulae lah.

I feel that i'm such a bore.
I come online to blog, and the first thing that pops out:
Math.
Additional, math.
Hahahah wth. Anyway, has anyone done econs?

I plan to slack abit more today so that those two can work harder(:
Heh. Yeah these past 3 or 4 days have been crazy for me, so I shall take a break.
Stop going to Gmail every 15 mins.
Stop lagging up my comp with like 8 pages.
Stop pissing people off (Hahaha stupid la that girl.)
(:

Mum told me I shouldn't buy anything else or i'll have added pressure and it's really a bad time.
Thing is, I didn't tell her that I already did.
And that was why I wasn't very keen on it...
But no one seems to bother/ care so nvm.

These days have been filled with a sort of sudden urge.
Not that i'm turning desperate, no. But all the stress and the tears has taken a toll, I'm afraid.
Don't you randomly wish that you had someone beside you?
Someone bigger, more thoughtful and sensitive, who'd hug you for hours.
Don't you feel that slight twinge of regret at the sight of another couple?
And a pang of sorrow for yourself?

Don't you give an ironic smile to a (disgusting) pair of (disgusting) teens openly making out on the mrt?
The urge that makes you think:
I'm missing out.
I've gotta go get me some.
I don't want to be alone anymore.

Until my Prince Charming appears on a motorbike,
with his messy, slightly curly hair covering his eyes,
riding with a guitar (or equivalent) on his back,
his tan displaying the clear outlines of muscle on his arms,
and sunglasses chic but Man enough to declare himself worthy,
I Will Not Falter.
D:

Hahahah okay my imagination's running a little far today.
Well it's always good to set goals.
(:
And it's only human to falter once in a while. In the presence of a swoon-worthy potential counterpart, especially.
Permission granted to self there.

I'm gonna laugh badly when I read this 20 years down the road. But you know, at least i'll have someone beside me laughing too.

The beige-khaki coloured, black-threaded skinnies can't seem to get out of my head.
I find it so muted that it's irresistable. Remind me to get a pair myself.

The million times i've copied and pasted the same message, only hoping that someone would come give me somethinggg to do and yes, give me back my freaking money.

The messy, laidback hair that screams charm from every angle.
All guys should inherit that hairstyle. But in the nice, not oily, not too ugly kinda way.
On another thought, the slightly emo fringe can do wonders.

Muscles. Oooooh yes, muscles(:
...

The thick pile of notes on International Trade and the many essay questions I should be doing. I'll be at least finishing one today.

"All The Small Things".
Say it ain't so, I will not go
Turn the lights off, carry me home
Keep your head still- I'll be your thrill
The night will go on, my little redmill

The thought of stopping my random guy thoughts.
Yesterday was maybe a little too-much-guy.
I'm particularly sensitive- blame it on me being in a girls' sch for 10 years yeah. Esp when there are like, 5 guys within a 1 meter radius.
Hormone level: High from others, not so high from me.

"Naive"
The Kooks rule my world. (:
Give me a little more music, please.

Famous Amos cookies are the love.
And so are deep-fried sweet potato sticks with plum powder.
And my precious bestfriend of one week: Eclipse (winterfrost) is gone.
Shaun didn't think twice before casually dumping away my awesome box D:

Six-lettered names are my love.

Just to fufil my promise:
Thursday was fun. There, done.
Hahahaha no, we actually went to Popeyes at T3 and missed out on the biscuits):
But while we were there, we
1. Made fun of a bunch of CHEENA OMG KC girls.
2. Laughed our arse off at people who were trying to get chilli sauce/ ketchup.
The dispenser was so hard, everyone was seriously BANGING the top just to get some sauce. Lmao man! And I took pictures of the people who did that with Aisy's cam, but they all came out blur cause I was laughing too hard.
And this lady even said "It's so hard" or something to us? Hahaha.
3. Bridged and camwhored:D

Spent 100 bucks yst, and well, I don't feel accomplished but I don't feel as though nothing has been accomplished either.
Hahahaha wtf.

And finally,
Today!
Heh, woke up at 0345, and left the house at 0500 with fam. Went to Marina South Pier and took a ferry down to Kusu Island!
Saw many many cool stuff. (it was a reef walk.)
Nudibranchs, Gobis, snapping prawns, many many many flower crabs, hermit crabs, anemones, and loads of corals. It was freakin awesomeeee.
:D
Oh yes, and the starfish were everywhere! It's really cute cause they're under the sand, and there's always this star shaped indent on the sand on top of them. Saw a mutated four legs one too. The Cross, I call it(:

Queued for 35 mins for some porridge that didn't even taste nice after that at Telok Ayer.

Slept at home for two hours, and then used the com and went out to meet Shaunn.
So Shaun brought his interesting friend and Td, and we had to wait for
ETERNITIES (in the sweltering area too!)
for the programme to start.

And while waiting, we made a trip down to 7-11 where I confirmed that the cashier was transexual by going up and saying 'hi' to shim. (she-him)
Shehe said "hi" in this low voice, couldn't help but laugh outside.

I thought the fist band (Rika) was good, the second was hopeless (can't rmb the name), the third was FUCKIN AWESOMEE, and the fourth was bleaugh- vocalist spoilt it all for me.
Underground gigs are so interesting(:
Like A Band (the third of course) has a really queer bassist, an overly funny drummer, and an.. interesting vocalist/keyboardist. Eugene was of course, good as usual.
I thought they sounded alot better on myspace though D: Nvm, loads of potential(:
But anyway, Cheers!

I'm still partially deaf by the deafening music that was played less than two metres away from me. Yep. I think it should clear by tmr.
Well, for a nice and healthy change, I had eyecandy today(:
(: (: (:
Heh. Okay stop thinking!
Haha yes, I need to go out more often and check guys out or otherwise i'll be a terrible bore.
Or turn overly desperate.
Or turn lesbian. D:
Hahahaha wtf. Okay strike that weird thought out of my head please.

On the MRT home, I spotted something terrifying.
This girl, was hugging this guy around the neck for a LONGGG time. And she didn't shave.. and it was pretty obvious. (sleeveless shirt) So when I saw it, I was
totally
awfully
terrifyingly
disgusted.
It was.. a bush! A short, but thick bush.
Totally
awfully
terrifying
disgusting!

And finally, Aisy and co,
I have found a dragonboater to interrogate! :D
Who goes by the name of Shaun's friend. (Not even sure of his name since no intros were made)
They don't have one arm bigger than the other, even though they don't switch sides to paddle and stuff.
Cause,
they do weights.
O:
Haha yes, fascinating! Since it's the first time I've ever talked to a dragonboater (I think so..) and i've learnt something new today(:

I like:
Musicians,
tall(er than me) people,
muscles!,
singers,
nice hair,
good dressing taste,
nice lips,
and generally,
good looking people.
(:
Money is/ was never an issue, I can always
SAVE.

Goodnight and goodbye,
to you.
With love,
me.

Am very, very annoyed now.
I feel so.. cheated. But anyway, I shan't be a bitch and say it to people directly.

-Edited everything.
Forget it.

On a really anti-climaxal note,
Goodbye Tanvi.
Shall blog the happy stuff about today tomorrow, promise.

Just returned from 20 mins in the bathroom,
finished puking everything out. Including my awesome Subway for lunch and all.
And sadly, Shaun's gonna yell at me for stinking up the toilet when he returns.

I feel terrible; as though i've just been knocked down by a car thrice. Head's banging around, body's really tired and eyes are burning.
Despite all this, I shall blog. Yes, a mighty cause for celebration for random girls who read this just to find things to gossip about. And for you, loyal readers of noelleaddict.bs.com. Hah.

Yes, I didn't make it for Auds, but I thought there were many good people there today, so they deserve it. My pride won't let me insert a smiley face.
So on the seemingly long bus ride home, I began thinking up the past and all.

I owe you this.
I'm sorry; for being a jerk for nearly the past ten months.
Im (obviously) not the right girl, it didn't work out, and I did you wrong.
I don't need you, your encouragement, and everything else- it's defeating enough to have my conscience blasting in my ear. Just move along,
like I know you do.

Yeah lyrics work best.

A billion other things;
But never mind, they can wait.
I never knew that people from other classes actually read my blog. (Thought it was only relatives, pri school friends etc.) And it's scary how news can travel so fast.
But my eyecandy list has been seriously slashed to close to zero, so that = less juice for you before I step out of Tkgs and open my eyes wider.
What, it's not even a big deal.
So yeah, some girls are cute, but some guys are way cuter! (:

On a random note, Alisha wonders how i'm not emo about auds.
And it's not that I'm not, I just.. don't like to say it out. Cause i'm proud, yes.
For the moment, I wish I could just run into a warm embrace, shed a couple of tears, get pulled along to some ice-cream (rum and raisin would do nicely), and sit quietly on a bus home, leaning on someone's shoulder. And sharing the music, yeah.

Someone to say "Cry", instead of distracting me with weird happy thoughts.
Someone who would never give excuses for failure, but say a simple "It's okay."
Yes, I do live differently from everyone else and I will not answer you with a "No! It's not okay!"
I prefer it to be clean and honest esp when you don't know how I feel. I am a simpleton.
...
To a certain, limited extent.

It's been months since anything of the sort happened, 5 months to be exact. I can't help but reminisce the old times, how i'd run to Marina Square just to have some fries then watch a gazillion movies.

Call me inhuman if you will Ryan: I don't miss any of you.
But I must thank you for missing me. Haha yeah, it felt nice.

The best substitute for anything closer than friendship = Alisha.
Baby, I need hugs): And thanks for dropping by Vj today, it meant the world to me.
And the best hugs and cute smiles = Aisyah.
Please be happy dear girl(; You're my sunshine girl in school.

From today's session during chinese: (Hahaha Melody you're the best lah.)
I find it so astonishing that they broke up already.
And I find it so adorable how they got together, despite Am's slight.. disgust at the thought of it. Haha yeah, it's not exactly normal either.

You know, i'm really sorry for disappointing.
In need of certain comfort,
Noelle.